I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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