Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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