don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
