You made me cry and you don't even care
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize