At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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