I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize