Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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