What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
