Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
