if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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