I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
