Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
