Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
did i just pee glitter
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
