Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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