Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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