I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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