stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize