I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
