I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize