things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I love you.
Bad choice
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