I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
