Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
