Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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