Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
