Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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