he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
