I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize