i barfeds in our rink
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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