Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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