Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
