That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
