I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
