help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
