she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize