woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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