People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
