If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
