yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
