I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
