I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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