I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
