I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
