I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
