Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
