So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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