got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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