I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
