At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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