I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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