the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
