dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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