I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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