hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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