You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
