i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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