I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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