absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
