I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
