I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
