once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize