i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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