Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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